Our friendship started in August of 2006, when Lucas and I were in the same MTC district about to serve missions in Toronto, Ontario. We became quick friends and stayed that way through the two years that were served. After Lucas got home, I was pretty much engaged to Scott, and I remember talking to Lucas at our mission reunion on a ranch style property in the middle of nowhere Utah. Leaning over a wooden fence and looking at the night sky, he told me that he was excited to find someone he had an undeniable connection with. It was as if he was already connected to her through the stars.
Lucas and Amber got married a week before Scott and I did and moved into our small Rexburg, Idaho town to attend BYU-Idaho. Even though we were moving in, and we had all just got off of our honeymoons, I insisted that Lucas bring his new wife to meet me.
That's where our couple friendship began. I instantly fell in love with Amber, the same way everyone does. And, as it turns out, Lucas and Scott became quick friends. There are very few couples that Scott and I can be 100% ourselves around, and Amber and Lucas were the first.
I remember how Amber would talk about being a nanny in Hawaii and how she wanted nothing more to be a mom and how she was going to adopt tons of babies! Lucas would smile, maybe pretend like he was being practical, say a few "we'll see when we get there"s, but we all knew he would give Amber the world in an instant if he could.
So when they announced to us that they were pregnant, we were beyond thrilled for them. Amber NEVER said one negative thing her entire pregnancy. She laughed at the discomfort she was in. She would give anything, go through ANYTHING for her baby.
Which is why it was so heart-breaking when Lucas called me from the hospital and told me that, at 32 weeks, they had lost their little girl. I pretty much ran to the hospital. Amber told me the horrific story. She told me how they kept Lucas out of the room during the emergency C section. I asked him what that was like. He didn't hesitate, but with a straight face said: "It was hell. Not being with my family was hell." I remember him teaching a principle like that on the mission. We helped him take apart their crib and put it storage. Scott bought Lucas a Subway sandwich. I took Amber to get a pedicure the day she left for her daughters funeral. Pretty toes don't solve problems, but they can help you feel like you have somewhere to be- a purpose in this life.
Over the next couple of months, we continued to talk and laugh with our dear friends. They were scarred, but healing. Their love ran so deep you feel it when you walked in their house. It was like they had been married for 50 years instead of 2. They bought a dog who showed them all of the love and affection they showed him.
When we got pregnant, they were happy for us. When we moved away, Amber and I cried and hugged and cried. When we had our little girl, they missed their Molly.
After they got pregnant again, Scott and I were beyond excited for them! Finally! Amber and Lucas can be those awesome parents they have always wanted to be! They found out they were having a boy and I secretly sighed with relief. This pregnancy would be different in every way.
Which is why it was even more heart-breaking when they lost their second child. They were told in the same hospital room something was wrong. Our sweet friends had to live their worst nightmare all over again. Bury another child.
I have talked to Amber quite a bit since her son passed, and she has told me that while it is not EASIER, they have come to peace quicker than they did with their daughter. They had already read all of the books and scriptures about families being together forever.
Amber asked me if it was selfish of her to be thinking about adoption so soon after her son passed. I adamantly assured her that it was not.
Amber and Lucas are two of the greatest people I have ever known. Any child would be blessed and lucky to call them their parents. They are currently moving forward with adoption through LDS Family Services. They have a blog with more details about their life that can be found here. If you know anyone who is looking for a loving family for their child, please refer them to our dear friends who want nothing more than to love.
I can promise you that that child's life will be filled with understanding, caring, and laughter. I know because Lucas and Amber have already added all of those things to mine.