Seeker of Happiness

$12 Tote Bags and Some Happy Thoughts

Ironic Advice

Carrie Lynn5 Comments

The other day I'm at a fast food restaurant at City Creek. I order my food, and add a large Diet Coke because it had been a long day. The girl helping me out is a little awkward (staring at me way too long and the like). She asks me what the difference is between Diet Coke and regular Coke. 
I tell her that Diet Coke does not taste as sweet. I tell her I like the taste better. She is not reacting to what I am saying, so, for added effect, I smile and say:

"Plus it has all that aspartame so it's way worse for you."

I wink. I think I'm being funny and charming. 

Somehow, in the mist of that short conversation, the cashier at the register next to the one I am ordering at joins in:

"Yeah, Diet Coke is horrible." 

I note that she is being very serious. I smile. 

"It's the WORST drink you could EVER drink." 

My smile is straining. I start to think: this is too ironic to be happening to me. 

"It WILL kill you."

She's looking at me with grave concern. I can't help myself:

"Funny how the lady behind the FAST FOOD counter is giving me HEALTH advice. If I wanted anyone's health advice, I certainly wouldn't be ordering from a FAST FOOD restaurant." 

She remains silent with her arms crossed. She almost looks like she's pitying me. 

I wonder if she gives the same "it WILL kill you" speech to everyone that orders a french fry. 
The point of this story is not whether or not Diet Coke is bad for you- the point of the story is that a fast food employee was acting like my weight watchers coach and that's not cool. 

I feel like I don't eat like a total pig, but sometimes I want my food fast and without a side of judgement. 
Am I wrong in that?