All I ever wanted from my crazy on-the-go one year old was to cuddle for more than 30 seconds. She'll fake you out- lay her head down on your shoulder and JUST when you think "this is it! She's gonna fall asleep on me like she used to!" she pops up her head, gives you a smile and then screams (loudly) for no reason.
Scott falls for this charade every single time.
I got used to it. Georgia is now just mobile and curious and crazy. I adapted. I figured out how to clean the house with her like this. I figured out how to go grocery shopping with her and not spend a million dollars each time in an effort to get in and out as quickly as possible. I even started practicing better parenting and not getting frustrated as often and playing more.
Well, Georgia got molars.
Two molars- one on top and one on the bottom. Teething has never really been an issue with her (something I would thank God for every night). All of the sudden she would have three new teeth and I would wonder when those came in and move on. So I KNOW she is in pain because she is so CLINGY. Which is all I ever wanted right?
All day long... a baby... who cries when I am not holding her... while making lunch... while I'm exercising... while I'm on the phone... while I'm checking the mail... while I'm going to the bathroom.
All day long a baby who has a complete melt down when Elmo doesn't work.... when she runs out of water... when she can't fall asleep... when I leave the room... when a door is shut... in between bites of a full lunch that is in front of her because she is hungry.
There came a point on Tuesday where I looked at the clock and was certain that I was not going to make it the 2 hours before Scott got home. I felt horrible! All I wanted was a baby who wanted to cuddle and be with me and now it was driving me crazy!
When Scott did get home, he took the baby and I went to bed. He took her when he went to the store to get an ingredient we didn't have for the dinner I was attempting to make. He ran an errand I couldn't. He woke me up for a meeting I had to go to and told me dinner was in the microwave.
On my way to the car, I took out the trash. As I walking across the parking lot, I noticed that Georgia's blinds were still open and the light was on. There was my husband, happily tickling my baby on the changing table, getting her pajama's on.
I stood in the parking lot and watched them for several minutes. Watched them and cried. I was so overwhelmed by how lucky and blessed and fortunate I am. In the end, I tried to take a picture on my phone (which I recognize is a little creepy) because I wanted to remember that moment for a long time.
Sometimes, days like the past few can really get me down. I think I have my life order, and then molars hit and I have to scramble to keep it all together and it's hard not to feel like I'm failing and then completely quit.
However, I have now decided that God gives you those molar-days. He gives them to you so that you are forced to see your house a mess and an empty fridge. You have to look at all of the crap so that He can give you a glimpse in your apartment window. A glimpse that makes you realize that regardless of all of your hard work falling apart in two days, you have a pretty amazing husband and a baby who wants YOU to hold her when she's sad.
If Georgia never would have gotten molars, I never would have had that moment of swelling gratitude and bursting pride for my little family.
I'm not failing- I'm just making it through a few molars.