Seeker of Happiness

$12 Tote Bags and Some Happy Thoughts

On Self Conscious Fashion Blogging

Carrie Chapman8 Comments

When you start to work out and lose a few inches, you really find some confidence. I have been feeling so good and trying harder than I ever have before to listen to my body and take care of it like a tool instead of an object and I've felt so GOOD. 

So I decided to cut my hair into a pixie cut. Because, strong, confident women can pull that kind of thing off right? Here's the thing about vulnerability and leaving your comfort zone: you end feeling really vulnerable and uncomfortable. For the first 24 hours after I cut my hair I was so insecure. I thought I looked fatter and that I wasn't beautiful enough to pull it off. Who did I think I was? Jennifer Lawrence?! What was I thinking?!
But I slept on that short mop of hair and when I woke up in the morning I felt great about my decision and I still do. I love my new hair cut because 
1. It always feels out of the way and pulled up 
2. I kind of feel like Tinkerbell
3. It's new and I like new things. 

My confidence came back and I got this brilliant idea to do a couple of "fashion posts" where I model some of the stuff I have for sale in my shop. I felt so good in the outfit I'm wearing in the above picture. I'm doing a weird pose in an effort to make myself appear thinner, but when I saw the pics on my camera that insecurity crept back in. 

"Who are you to do a fashion post? You are not fashionable, and you are fat. Also, your legs are short."

But here's the thing: If any woman my size or larger posted outfit photos I'd just be like "that skirt is cute." 

The point is, you're gonna have to bear with me and my new awkward posts. It makes me feel weird and then weirdly empowered so I'm gonna keep doing it... sorry if you really just don't care about how I style a tote bag or t-shirt. You can skip over any post that starts out with my hands too far together on my waist and my face not knowing what to do. 

shirt: Seeker of Happiness
skirt: Downeast Outfitters
shoes: target